How Lady Gaga Found Herself Again: ‘I Feel Lucky to Be Alive’

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Stefani Germanotta — known to the world as Lady Gaga — has spent the past year rebuilding a career and a life she once feared might never recover. In March she returned with Mayhem, an album that helped her reclaim the pop identity she had long avoided, and she is now on the Mayhem Ball tour, performing elaborate arena shows while managing panic and recovery onstage. The tour and record have brought industry recognition — Mayhem is up for seven Grammy nominations, including Album of the Year — and a public sense that Gaga has stabilized personally, in part through her relationship with fiancé Michael Polansky. What follows is a close look at how she arrived here: the setbacks, the therapy, the music and the people who helped her get back.

Key Takeaways

  • Mayhem, released in March, marks Gaga’s deliberate return to her pop roots and has earned seven Grammy nominations, including Album of the Year.
  • Born This Way sold roughly 14 million copies and established Gaga as a cultural touchstone; subsequent albums and controversies altered the arc of her career.
  • During the Joanne world tour she experienced a psychotic break, sought psychiatric care and took lithium; she has since reduced some medications while continuing treatment.
  • The Mayhem Ball is a highly theatrical arena production that includes opera‑house staging, multiple Gaga personae and new arrangements such as a reworked “Shallow.”
  • Michael Polansky, her fiancé, is credited as a creative director and executive producer on the tour and acted as a stabilizing influence during recording and touring.
  • Gaga cites a long history of trauma, which she has said began at age 19; she has woven that material into Mayhem’s themes and visuals.
  • She credits collaborations and detours — jazz records with Tony Bennett, film roles, and cinematic soundtracks — with giving her the tools to make Mayhem.

Background

Stefani Germanotta shot to global prominence after early albums and theatrical performances established the Lady Gaga persona. Born This Way sold about 14 million copies and turned her into a generational voice for fans who rallied around her message of identity and survival. But success brought intense scrutiny and commercial pressure, and the follow-up eras exposed tensions between artistic reinvention and audience expectations.

Her midcareer pivot included experiments that split opinion: Artpop drew sharp critical resistance and a slowed commercial momentum; subsequent albums ventured into jazz, Americana and film soundtracks. Those detours kept her visible and fruitful creatively, but they also coincided with mounting personal strain and public misreadings of her motives and methods.

Main Event

The release of Mayhem in March and the launch of the Mayhem Ball tour have been framed as a reclamation. The shows pair operatic spectacle — a 14‑foot red crinoline, multiple onstage versions of Gaga, and Gothic psychodrama — with moments of stripped‑down vulnerability, including piano-centered scenes where she appears offstage and unadorned. Each performance is staged to dramatize an internal battle between personae Gaga calls Mayhem, Ethereal Gaga and the Artist.

Onstage, she still confronts panic: she described needing to talk herself through the first 90 seconds of the opening numbers and relying on rehearsal as a tool to steady her pulse. Polansky listens on her in‑ear feed and has helped devise staging solutions — from a wheeled gondola for a new “Shallow” arrangement to practical onstage mechanics — while also shaping creative decisions and offering emotional steadiness.

Musically, Mayhem reunites Gaga with long-term and new collaborators. Producer Andrew Watt and programmer Cirkut played central roles in crafting songs such as the lead single and the love song “Vanish Into You.” The album’s textures reflect her accumulated experience — jazz phrasing, trenchant songwriting and the pop immediacy that defined her early work — and the result is being recognized across awards voting bodies.

Analysis & Implications

Gaga’s trajectory underscores a familiar pattern for major artists: early commercial success locks certain expectations in place, and deviation invites both praise and punishment. For Gaga, Artpop’s mixed reception coincided with personal crises and accusations that spectacle had eclipsed substance; in retrospect she frames those years as essential education for the musician she’s become.

The interplay between mental health and performance is particularly instructive. Her history — including a period on lithium and a hospitalization during the Joanne cycle — shows how touring and fame can amplify preexisting vulnerabilities. That she can now perform elaborate shows while naming and managing panic attacks suggests treatment, routine, and social support (notably Polansky) have reshaped her capabilities.

Commercially and culturally, Mayhem’s success at awards and the scale of the tour can recalibrate industry assumptions about reinvention. If Mayhem translates into durable sales and sustained critical reappraisal, it may encourage other established artists to pursue riskier narratives without forfeiting mass‑market attention.

Comparison & Data

Record Notable Fact
Born This Way Approx. 14 million copies sold
Mayhem Released in March; seven Grammy nominations including Album of the Year
Chromatica Included “911,” a song referencing antipsychotic medication

These touchpoints show how different projects marked distinct phases: arena‑level commercial dominance (Born This Way), experimental detours and reputational friction (Artpop), and a therapeutic‑creative synthesis (Mayhem). Exact sales for intermediate albums vary and critical reception does not always correlate directly with long‑term influence.

Reactions & Quotes

“I feel really lucky to be alive.”

Lady Gaga — interview remark on recovery

Gaga framed survival language repeatedly during interviews and in performance, presenting the album and tour as acts of renewal rather than mere commercial comebacks.

“Being in love with someone that cares about the real me made a very big difference.”

Lady Gaga — on Michael Polansky

Observers say Polansky’s role has been both practical and psychological: credited as a creative director and executive producer, he also helped steady sessions and decisions during the making of Mayhem.

“The rehearsal of self saves me.”

Lady Gaga — on performance routine

That phrase captures how structured preparation — not adrenaline — now forms the backbone of her live work, enabling her to convert fear into a controlled, repeatable performance.

Unconfirmed

  • The article references a sexual assault by a music producer when she was 19 — this is an allegation Gaga has publicly reported; legal confirmation details are not provided in the interview.
  • The story describes secret co‑founding involvement in a Cambridge‑area skin‑health research firm; while the piece reports her board membership, some operational details and the extent of her role have not been independently verified in public filings cited here.
  • Clinical details about medication adjustments and precise diagnoses are summarized from Gaga’s account; full medical records and clinician statements are not included in the reporting.

Bottom Line

Lady Gaga’s recent arc — from early blockbuster success to public setbacks, through crisis and toward a renewed artistic center — is a study in resilience. Mayhem and the Mayhem Ball are both creative products and therapeutic projects: they let her process trauma artistically while rebuilding an audience and industry standing.

Her story highlights the limits of spectacle as a substitute for support and the importance of steadying relationships and medical care in sustaining a performing life. If Mayhem’s critical and awards attention translates into long‑term engagement, it will reshape how both fans and the industry view creative risk for artists who have already reached the top.

Sources

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